I never move my Peristeen kit, it's gone. I needed to go a few days ago and I'm full, dysreflexic. I tried an M.E yesterday and it was a poor effort so trying to get a district nurse. I feel ill

I had one hell of a weekend. Before I even left the apartment I had a bad feeling and I just knew. I knew my ex would show. I had a word with myself on the way to Barry and went to the house party nonetheless and told a few people how I felt. I decided not to drink or anything and glad I didn't cos my feeling was right.

In my opinion if I was there 1st they shouldn't even have let him in so that said it all to be honest. I clearly said I wanted to leave, it's not like I can just walk off, and some silly cow queried why we couldn't be friends. She has no idea the hell he put me through before and after my accident. After a few minutes one lad there who I barely knew booked him a taxi and made him leave.

My housemate worked away again this week and last night I spilled a milkshake in my car so today had to fill a bowl with warm water, balance it on my lap with a sponge and cleaning spray plus towel and get it to the car, wheelie-ing over the door lip on the way out, without spilling a drop! I spilled the drink behind the passenger seat so had to lean forward to get the seat forward and scrub the floor. I did it, it took a while but I succeeded! While I was there I thought |I may as well give my seat a clean as I had an accident before and I put the towel on the seat. After putting the bowl and stuff back I transferred onto the towel, brought the wheelchair in and went for a sunbed. I always need help getting in the sunbed door as there is a high step, I couldn't get myself in. The rest is easy!

When I got home my housemate was back and I got excited, after all the trouble we've had the last week I thought 'yay we can make it up' but he had other plans. Shows how much he cares for out friendship hey! |He asked to move my car, turns out that snobby bitch he's been seeing behind her parents back has booked a hotel and champagne etc. A cheap hotel and cheap champagne, classy. I told him I was upset over his priorities but I want him to have fun so I dug out some proper fetish handcuffs, a ball gag (for the mouth) and bondage tape for him to take. I've used that ball gag on all my customers so had a giggle to myself. I told him he couldn't go as he was as he looked like a tramp so made him shave, shower and wear something nice. She's confessed to her parents about him and they can't do much as she's moving to London over Christmas.

That's all I'm willing to confess today haha xx

I've been quiet for a while because I just couldn't be bothered to explain what's been going on for the last few days, plus I haven't had time! I didn't make plans to go out Friday and my friend was supposed to have work. Note the supposed... She cancelled and we went back to mine so I could sort out my toilet needs and then we went back to hers. She only wanted me back at hers so her boyfriend could come up but it wasn't a chore, she wasn't all over him and he is very friendly, we got along fine. As her bathroom is upstairs I brought catheters with bags so I could just go in her living room. I stayed over - her boyfriend had a helpful friend who was strong and carried me where I needed to go - and left in the morning. The wheelchair was in the boot and I forgot to remind the friend to put it in the front so had to stop a pedestrian on the way home to do it for me.

As I didn't sleep much Friday and didn't get home til 10am I went straight to bed despite some other friends asking me to go and see them. I slept on and off for a full 24 hours before I got up, had a shower and made my way to Barry to see my other friends. There was also a strong friend there who took me to the toilet when needed and when the lady of the house arrived with her 3 young children they thought I was being carried to bed for some fun and they explained I couldn't walk to which they replied 'she looks fine!'. Kids eh? They went to bed shortly so we stayed up late and my housemate came over at about 10pm to catch up as he hadn't seen them for a while.

Today we went for a carvery and to Asda. I knew I'd need the toilet soon as I hadn't done my bowel care since Friday and I told my housemate but he was faffing about in the aisles til I had to force him to get to a till and get out. Too late, I could smell it when I transferred and checked the seat. Thankfully there was a towel in the car so he put it under me and we drove home. Luckily it wasn't a big mess and I did my Peristeen as soon as I got in and had a good wash!

I couldn't get an appointment in my regular sunbed place today because I had an appointment with my orthodontist to fit a brace to my lower teeth. They've always bothered me but I couldn't afford them or I didn't have time. Well now I have all the time in the world so I went for it and when I arrived home I called my housemate and we went to a Consol sunbed in a nearby town.

The Consol sunbeds are bigger but higher than my usual ones and the floor is high shine. The wheelchair moved as I lifted and pushed myself into the sunbed and I nearly slipped off. It was worse getting off as there was a stupid plastic chair in the way and I couldn't angle the wheelchair. If I don't angle it slightly towards me my leg always slips between what I'm getting off and the nearest metal bar of the chair. Once my leg is down there I can't recover unless I get back up, and it was too high and too slanted, all I could do was hold myself in that awkward position and tell my housemate I needed help so he lifted me into my seat. My ankles ended up crossed and I wasn't at a good angle so I had him sort my legs out for me as I was rapidly slipping into a very foul mood!

After getting back in the car we went for a carvery, yum!

I went to a new club last night. My sister let me down (again) so my friend said if I pick her and her friend up they'd pay for me to get in so I curled my hair, did my make up and transferred onto my bed where I pulled on a black fishnet top, black & teal tutu and black thigh high boots. I adjusted the strap above my footrest so I could rest my heels on that because the shoes touch the floor otherwise and got myself into the car and my housemate put the chair in the boot of the car.

When I picked my friend up we made our way to the club and found a space outside a petrol station. They sorted my chair out and I took some catheters, my phone and some cash and put it in a little Velcro compartment under my seat with the car keys and my friend pushed me to the club.

Outside the club the doormen came over and explained that the lift is broke and the toilets are on the middle floor, we were going to be on the bottom floor. The doormen lifted my wheelchair with me in and took me downstairs. When I needed to be carried later I expressed that I prefer to be carried and someone carry the chair so they did that and didn't mind one bit hehe!

A couple of people tried to approach me, I don't like talking to strangers and I really don't want to be accidently patronised or quizzed on my situation so I avoided eye contact and when anyone bothered me I looked the other way and even moved my chair several times. One lad asked me if he could ask me a question and I simply said no. The thing is I'm out to have fun not go into a diatribe about my wheelchair then listen to how 'brave' I am.

At the end of the night I got carried upstairs and it was raining. It's hard to wheel in the rain as my rims get wet so there's no grip. My friend pushed me back and placed me in the car and we went back to their house where I got carried in and placed on the sofa. I don't think I've ever been in the wheelchair so long and my legs were like ice but they warmed up after a few hours. I did a catheter on the sofa into a leg bag and fell asleep. I stayed there til late tonight and could've stayed forever but I used all my catheters. It was nice to get home and wash my face lol!